Austin Weddings Unlimited

Chic in the Heart of Texas

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah and Sam) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:34:00 +0000

Colin Cowie is headlining this fabulous event, and all are invited. Sarah will be speaking, as well. Chic in the Heart of Texas is the first annual NEAWP conference, being held at The Driskill. Dates are October 25-27th. Get your tickets - they are selling fast. And all are invited to hear Colin Cowie speak - he is speaking on Tuesday, the 27th! FUN!

Don't be left out!

Sam and Sarah

More on spirituality

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah and Sam) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:55:00 +0000

Well, after a little break from blogging, we are back to it! And we are continuing a discussion on spiritual vs. religious.

Sam kicked off this discussion in November. I was to post in December. Funny thing, though. I really had to ponder this broad “spiritual vs. religious” topic. Sam did an excellent job with his post, so it was challenging for me to think of anything to add. After much procrastinating and bike riding, I decided to dig into the word “spiritual” a bit more. So, here it is January, and the end of January to boot. And here are my thoughts, finally in one place:

What, really, do we mean when we say spiritual? I think that is an important place to begin. Clearly, Sam and I meet people on a variety of spiritual paths. That is our honor, and one reason we love our jobs. These spiritual paths share some common features. Typically there is some recognition of a life force beyond what is here and now, and on this plane of existence. That life force presents itself differently to different people. And no wonder, really. We are all different, aren’t we? Just as we see life through different lenses, we will all experience the divine through different lenses. No one human body can contain the whole of the divine, so what each of us sees is a piece of the divine – often different angles of the divine. I have learned much from my clients, colleagues, associates, and friends by realizing that their perspective on the divine can actually enhance my perspective, broaden my limited human scope, rather than threaten it.

Sam and I also see that most of our clients define spirituality as some sort of recognition of the divine within each of us. While human, most of us claiming the spirituality tag see that we are more than just human. Somehow there is a divine spark within us. I would even suggest that it is that divine spark within me that creates the longing for the larger flame, and thus calls me to recognize the greater divinity: God (no matter what name we attach to that concept).

One of the most meaningful manifestations of the concept of the divine within came to me from a couple that married in July, 2006. Many of us are familiar with the word “Namaste.” The Sanskrit word has many translations, and is used many ways from the formal to the informal. Linslee and Matt brought this ritual to me, wanting it to be part of their already mixed religious wedding ceremony. I fell in love with the concept, and use both this translation and this ritual -- where they spoke the word to each other and held the bow for a few silent moments -- to this day: “The spirit in me meets the same spirit in you, and I honor the place where you and I are one.”

In all marriages there are challenging times. In fact, in all relationships there are challenging times. This culture is built on the concept of the individual. However, if we acknowledge that there is a place where you and I are one, no matter what might be driving us apart, there is always that space, that divine place between us, that we can claim together. And if you have that concept to build upon, if you acknowledge that space to build upon, even the challenging times aren’t so bad.

Spiritual and Non Spiritual

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah and Sam) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 02:23:00 +0000

Do you want a wedding that is spiritual or non-spiritual?

Do you want your wedding service to be religious or non-religious?

These terms are confusing for brides and grooms as well as officiants and planners.
Sarah and I have personal conversations almost every week with couples who are struggling to create a ceremony that is inclusive of their families of origin while at the same time honoring their own personal, and spiritual or religious, lifestyles. It is not an easy or simple task in most cases, so we take those conversations with our couples seriously. For example, he is a Roman Catholic and she was raised Southern Baptist; she is Jewish and he is from a family that never attended or belonged to a church; they are both living in Austin and were educated in the United States but their families of origin are from India; she a Muslim and he a Hindu. Clearly there is careful planning to be done, and hopefully the person you chose to conduct your service is sensitive to your unique situation.

Below are some of our thoughts about the challenges of honoring tradition and religious upbringing, or lack thereof, while at the same time creating a wedding that appropriately mirrors a couple’s ethics, hopes, values, sense of family unity and, most importantly, their love and commitment to each other.

First, spiritual weddings are not necessarily “religious.” Wonderfully expressive language and high ideals can be used in a ceremony without the use of typical religious terminology. For example, couples can select prayers that are gender-inclusive and interfaith. In addition to prayers, couples can choose a wide variety of secular and sacred readings or poetry to be a part of their ceremony.

Second, religious weddings do not have to be filled with heavy or dogmatic language that excludes people or uses the wedding ceremony to be preachy or judgmental. Many Biblical verses and other historical "church-language" can be used in ways that honor a couple's family-of-origin expectations without giving up on more contemporary, post-modern ways of believing or thinking.

Third, Sam and Sarah are willing to work with you to find common ground, adding elements such as the unity candle, wine ritual, jumping the broom, remembrances of loved ones not able to attend or who have died, and participation by friends who read poetry, play music, or offer solos. Rather than belittling or giving one religion power over another, we feel this kind of dynamic interplay of religious values and rituals actually creates an opportunity for your wedding to emphasize unity within the diversity of your personal histories.

Seriously considering your personal differences, and ours, is an honest and honorable opportunity for us to work together to create something our world sorely needs—families, and thus communities, built on mutual respect, trust and love, and not divided or alienated by or for the sake of religion.

Our goals are not about imposition of our own religious traditions on you at this special time in your lives, but rather to use our time together to explore all the wild possibilities presented by our diverse experiences and perspectives.

Have I raised questions yet unanswered for you? Write us. Let’s chat.
Peace,
Sam Riccobene

Marriage License Fees Double, September 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah and Sam) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:18:00 +0000

Well, even as we watch the economy crash, the price of weddings just went up again. And unfortunately, it’s not a part of the wedding that is optional. As of September 1, 2008, marriage license fees increased within the State of Texas.

We’ve had many questions here at Austin Weddings Unlimited and thought that we’d postpone our next blog entry and talk about this fee increase.

The Texas Legislature meets every other year, and during the past session (2007), they passed House Bill 2683 and House Bill 2685. HB 2683 provided federal funding for a Healthy Marriage Initiative, while HB 2685 actually fleshes out the Healthy Marriage Initiative for the State of Texas.

In a nutshell, the legislation allows couples to attend an eight hour premarital education class in lieu of paying a state license fee of $60.00. Additionally, the completion of the course allows you to waive the 72 hour waiting period on your license. So, yes, you can get your marriage license for free or close-to-free. And yes, you could locate a course, take the course, run down to the County Courthouse, get your license, and call us to get married all in a matter of a day – if you planned correctly! So, not quite Vegas, but as close to Vegas as the State of Texas will allow.

The flipside of this explanation is that if you opt out of taking a Twogether In Texas course you will now pay $60.00 plus local fees (remember, the completion of the course only waives the state fee, and not your county fees which vary from county to county) instead of $30.00 plus local fees. And while waiving the 72 hour waiting period is a nice perk, in reality, it does not offer much to most couples who spend nine to twelve months planning their weddings.

The course itself is free. It must be selected from a prequalified group of providers that have been trained in the Healthy Marriage Initiative/Twogether In Texas. So, no, this is not premarital counseling. And no, the premarital counseling you might be required to take by your religious institution will not qualify. However, for couples that are non-spiritual and non-religious, the Twogether in Texas premarital course offers an excellent way to explore the dynamics of marriage, add or hone some skills that will be beneficial to your marriage, and focus a nice block of time on relationship vision building.

Logistically, the program is administered through regional intermediaries within Texas. To locate a qualified class near you, simply log on to www.twogetherintexas.org and type in your zip code in the box listed at the top of the home page. Once you select and complete a class, you will be issued a certificate. This certificate will be presented to the County Clerk who will, in turn, waive the state fee and waiting period.

What is the goal? Marriage is, from the words of a favorite ceremony, an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. It is an ancient institution, and one that can offer emotional, financial, and even physical benefits. We won’t bore you with the studies, but you can look them up. Marriage promises to be full of twists, turns, ups and downs. It has never been promised to be a constant state of bliss and happiness, but it is a worthy venture.

Divorce, on the other hand, is costly. Sam and I always say that even when divorce is the right answer (and the two of us believe that it can be the right answer), it is never an easy answer. The choice to divorce involves the unraveling of lives, the dismantling of homes, and the severing of intimate bonds. The State of Texas, acting on the federal initiative, seeks to better equip couples for marriage through the skills of effective communication and conflict resolution.

We hope this article educates you on the new fees, and how to waive the fees by using the Twogether in Texas program, or at least know why you are paying more should you wish not to participate in the program.

It’s a controversial piece of legislation, to be sure. Sam and I certainly have our opinions (on more than just Twogether in Texas).

We would like to hear your opinions: contact us

Going Green: An eco-journey with Sarah and Sam

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah and Sam) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 23:01:00 +0000

In the winter of 2007, Sarah and Sam stopped by to visit a friend and local stationer to order Sam's new Austin Weddings Unlimited business cards (on cotton paper, a renewable resource, of course!) During the appointment, Sam blurted out, "Wouldn't it be cool if we set up a wedding site that emphasized the "going green" concept for couples considering more eco-friendly weddings?" Our stationer friend bit into Sam's line like a trout to the perfect lure. Since that day, we have met twice with our friend, Nancy, from Alegra's (www.alegras.com), to consider ways to assist couples with "green wedding" options.

We learned rather quickly that many couples and wedding vendors are also interested in "going green." After all, we live in Austin, Texas, and pride ourselves on being nation-wide front-runners in the area of environmental sensitivity. For example, Sam co-sponsored a conference where our mayor, Will Wynn, spoke about Austin's hope to, one day soon, be "off the grid" -- depending entirely on alternative energy sources for our citizens' electric demands. It is not at all surprising to find the wedding community here asking how it could be a part of a "going green" movement.

Sarah's first question to Sam, as they began jotting down ideas (on their recycled paper pads, of course): "Sam, what does it mean to have a green wedding? Surely you don't mean the bridesmaids are attired in green dresses." Indeed, the phrase "going green" means many things to many people. And many of the terms that Sam threw around, Sarah didn't understand. As a result, the Glossary O' Terms was born, and A Few Starting Tips was created. It's not our complete vision, but we found that starting somewhere was better than never starting at all.

"Hey Sam," Sarah asked, "What is our vision?"

We hope to have a place on our website that spotlights vendors with a shared passion for "going green," as well as a collection of ever-evolving tips for keeping weddings as "green" as possible. To that end, we want to hear from you. Are you planning a "green wedding?" Do you have a business that is particularly interested in reducing its carbon footprint? Think you have an idea to share with us? Email us

In the meantime . . .

GLOSSARY O' TERMS: Sam gets Sarah up-to-speed

Carbon footprint: Refers to the impact of human activity on the environment. Typically, your carbon footprint is measured in units of carbon dioxide. Stated another way, it is the amount of greenhouse gas produced by a specific activity.

Carbon off-set credits: Credits earned fora ctivities that off-set carbon emission and greenhouse gases. Credits decrease your carbon footprint, and can be as simple as planting a tree, or more elaborate such as purchasing credits from various providers.

Core values: Those ideals and ethics which guide a person's decision-making and behaviors.

Green wedding: A conscientious attempt by a bride, groom, and their families to contract with vendors whose goods and services are environmentally conscious, earth-friendly, sustainable, and recyclable in every feasible way.

Non-renewable resources: Natural resources that exist in fixed amounts. These resources cannot be remade or regrown, and are being consumed faster than nature can create them. Fossil fuels are the obvious example.

Organic: For the purposes of this glossary, organic products are products that are produced without the use of pesticides, artificial fertilizers, growth hormones, or antibiotics.

Post-consumer: A product that has been used by a consumer, and is then recycled. Post-consumer products are important in reducing the amount of waste entering landfills.

Recyclable: A product that can be or has been re-used. Also, a product that will easily decompose.

Renewable: A resource that nature is replenishing at a rate equal to or greater than human consumption rates. Sam and Sarah, for example, have business cards made from cotton -- a renewable resource.

Sustainable: The process of manufacturing, growing, harvesting products using a minimal amount of energy. Use can be sustained by the available natural resources for an indefinite period of time.

Virgin product: Refers to a product made from raw materials. It contains no recycled product.

TIPS FOR GREENER WEDDINGS: Some cool ideas we've already collected

Instead of party favors, the wedding couple gives traveling guests the gift of carbon offset credits.
Select locally produced foods and beverages.
Invitations, napkins, and wedding stationery printed with soy inks on recycled papers or renewable resource paper.
Floral designs might include living plants instead of cut flowers. Plants might be later used in the couple's landscaping or given to the guests for their gardens.
The bride's dress is borrowed, or purchased from a previous owner or consignment store.
Dresses and formal wear are cotton, hemp, or the beautiful and more formal silk.
Glass, china, and pottery are used for food service. If disposable products are used, post-consumer or biodegradable selections are choice.

Welcome to Austin Weddings Unlimited

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah and Sam) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 22:56:00 +0000

Welcome to our blog.

On this site you will find monthly musings from Sam and Sarah. Occasionally some of our favorite colleagues will guest host a column. We plan to wax poetic on topics such as green weddings, current trends in weddings, concepts such as spiritual vs. non-spiritual, current Texas legislation on marriage, and marriage counseling.

Have an idea for an entry? Let us know.

Have some feedback for us? Let us know.

Again, we welcome you to our blog, and look forward to sharing this journey with you.

Best,
Sam Riccobene
&
Sarah de la Fuente